


you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you)

by Schocker



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, camila being painfully oblivious to laurens gay crisis, its a fake dating au bc i love dying, when everyone knows you're in love except you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 19:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5387066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schocker/pseuds/Schocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Going well so far,” Lauren murmurs. “Your parents and your little sister. They think I’m a great girlfriend.”</p><p>“You are,” Camila agrees.</p><p> </p><p>Or: The time Camila really needed a date to a family wedding, and who better to fill the role of fake-girlfriend than Camila's best friend Lauren?</p>
            </blockquote>





	you don't have to say i love you (to say i love you)

_“Karla Camila -_ tell me you didn’t forget. I know you’re a little absentminded sometimes, but you remembered, right?”

The thing is, Camila did forget.

She doesn’t say it out loud, but her mother lets out a sigh on the other end of the phone like she can sense it and Camila winces. She flops back onto the sofa and tries to contain her own sigh as she runs a hand through her hair. Ally spares her a concerned look from the other couch.

“No, of course I didn’t forget,” she lies poorly. “How could I have?”

“You’ve always been a forgetful thing,” her mother says, thankfully sounding more amused than upset. “Didn’t one of your friends buy you that calendar for Christmas?”

Lauren got it for Camila’s birthday, actually, and it was a gag gift to cover up the real gift of One Direction VIP passes to a concert. Camila hated Lauren for about five minutes that day (but not really).

 “You promised to be at your cousin Angelica’s wedding,” her mother interrupts Camila’s thoughts. “You promised _months_ ago.”

Camila vaguely recalls a phone conversation with her mother in a dirty club bathroom after a few shots where her mother mentioned _weddings_ and _dates_. Camila had agreed easily – Lauren was just outside and Camila didn’t want to keep her waiting.

“Right, I know that,” Camila tells her mother. She watches Dinah nearly knock Normani off a barstool and the squabble that ensues. She smiles.

“So you’ll be here, right?”

Any amusement Camila was feeling evaporates and she pulls away from the phone to groan into a pillow. Ally looks worried again, but Normani and Dinah roll their eyes at her.

“It’s been really busy these last few weeks,” Camila begins, but halts when her mother cuts her off.

“You _promised_ ,” her mother whines, sadness spotting her tone. “Your cousin Angelica is really looking forward to seeing you at her wedding.”

“Alright,” Camila folds, “yeah, fine, I’ll be there.”

“ _Karla_ ,” her mother warns, sensing the hesitation in Camila’s voice.

“I’ll be there!” Camila says more firmly, her voice chipper and loud enough that Lauren finally pokes her head out of the kitchen with a confused look on her face.

Camila’s mother laughs and Camila smiles at the sound. She really does miss her mother, if she’s being honest, even if her mother can be overwhelming at times. Camila relaxes onto the sofa, zoning out as her mother prattles on about dresses and tuxes and flowers and other things that Camila figures must make a wedding perfect.

Dinah lands on top of Camila, knocking the breath out of her.

“Walz, I’m breaking up with you,” Dinah says seriously as she shoves a cookie in her mouth.

“China, what the _fuck_ -”

_“Karla!”_

“Ally’s cookies are better than yours will ever be – I’m leaving you for her,” Dinah says, not looking put out.

“Sorry, Mom,” Camila says into the phone, unceremoniously dumping Dinah onto the floor. “It’s just – well, it’s Dinah,” she explains, like that’s a legitimate excuse. Dinah’s been her best friend for years, way before they went to college together, so Camila’s mother is definitely familiar with the wild and loud explosion of a person that is Dinah Jane Hansen.

“Of course,” Camila’s mother says, like that makes sense. “Oh, and don’t forget, you said you were going to bring a date.”

That brings a bitter taste in Camila’s mouth. She _did_ have a date in mind when she’d originally been told about the wedding, as she’d been dating this guy and they were really hitting it off. Austin was sweet and charming and he really swept Camila off her feet. It was naïve, maybe, for Camila to think they’d go to a wedding together that was months off, but young love and all that.

Austin had turned out to be a cheating scumbag anyway, and Lauren pretty much held Camila for hours as she cried.

(Camila returned the favor the next night by wrapping Lauren’s busted knuckles. Lauren could be very protective, as Austin’s broken nose could attest to.)

But she can’t tell her mother she’s without a date. Oh no, because then her mother would pick out some boy for Camila that she’d have to awkwardly tolerate for the weekend and then never speak to again, which would disappoint her mother and set the woman off on a rant about how Camila was going to end up alone forever if she didn’t start really looking for a husband.

No. Saying she didn’t have a date was possibly the worst thing she could do.

“You _do_ have date, right?”

“Of course,” Camila says confidently, surprised with how well the lie comes out.

Her mother squeals on the phone. “Great! Who is it?”

That’s a good question, Camila thinks to herself, but she says, “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“You’re going to tell me before the wedding,” her mother says. “I want to know at least something.”

Camila agrees and they both say goodbye as they hang up. Camila rolls over and screams into a pillow.

“I feel like you might be under some stress,” Normani says.

Camila rolls back over and stares at the ceiling. “I’m fucked. I totally just really fucked myself.”

“I thought we agreed, no masturbation in the common areas,” Dinah comments, not looking up from her phone.

Camila can’t even muster a laugh as the guilt starts to build in her stomach. She just _lied_ to her _mother_ , what kind of person does that?

“Hey,” Ally sits next to Camila on the couch. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t have a date,” Camila admits. She doesn’t have a date _and_ she lied to her mom, she’s really having a shitty time right now.

“A date?” Normani asks from next to Dinah. They’re both on twitter and only half paying attention to anything else. “For what?”

“Wedding,” Camila sighs. She used to love weddings when she was a little girl, with all the flowers and pretty dresses and cake. But the older she gets, the less fun they are. Everyone wants to know when _she’s_ getting married, what she’s doing with her life, what has she achieved? She’s only twenty, for god’s sake, she’s just trying to pass her advanced psych class.

“Sofi’s a little young for that,” Dinah says. Camila rolls her eyes and snorts, but Dinah’s always had a way of lightening her up.

“It’s my cousin Angelica’s wedding,” Camila corrects. The more she thinks about it, the less excited she is.

“Oh yeah,” realization dawns on Dinah. She’s met most of Camila’s family over the years. “She’s the really hot one, right?”

Camila nods, resting her head in her hands with a sigh.

Ally rubs her back soothingly. “So you need a date for a wedding? That sucks,” she says sympathetically.

“Well it’s – I mean,” Camila splutters a little. “I told my mom that I have a date for the weekend.”

“And you don’t,” Normani raises an eyebrow.

“No,” Camila winces. “I don’t.”

“Your fav is problematic, Camila Cabello,” Dinah says dramatically. “Tells her mom she has a date when she doesn’t.”

“You’re not helping,” Camila groans.

“Why not just go alone?” Ally suggests.

Camila’s still feeling guilty and her hand aches where she’s clenching her phone too hard. This is all just so frustrating, and the worst part about it is that it’s really her own fault.

“I _can’t_ ,” she insists. “My family likes to set me up for dates or romance or whatever.”

Dinah snorts (she’s seen a few of these disastrous set-ups first hand) and Ally gives Camila a pitying smile.

“Set up dates, what are you, fifteen?” Normani teases.

Camila groans again and puts her face into her hands. She hates all of them at this point, with the exception of Lauren, who’s still in the kitchen. Lauren would defend her, she’s sure of it (even if Lauren would giggle as she did).

“You’re all useless,” Camila grumbles.

“Did something dramatic happen while I was gone?” Lauren’s voice reaches Camila’s ears. She shifts instinctively and smiles into her hands when Lauren slides into the spot between Camila and the armrest of the couch. “I only went to make tea.”

The scent of the tea wafts over to Camila and she finally pulls her head up. Lauren slings an arm around Camila’s tense shoulders and takes a sip. It’s almost unnoticeable to Camila now, the touching they do. They always seem to fit into each other – careless arms around waists, a chin on a shoulder, a hand spread across a belly, fingers along her spine, a thumb brushing quietly behind her ear. It’s a casual softness they’ve mastered over their two and a half years of friendship.

Camila bites her lip and she’s so fascinated by the line of Lauren’s profile, the softness under her eyes, the natural quirk to her mouth that she almost misses the way Lauren raises her eyebrows at her.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, ducking her head.

Lauren shrugs carelessly, grinning. “Shut up,” she whispers back, nudging Camila’s knee with her own.

(It’s the small touches, the little gestures, the little lilt to their voices like they understand each other better than anyone else that melts a calm into Camila’s bones.)

She relaxes under Lauren’s arm and presses back into her, looking away.

“Our little Mila,” Dinah announces, leaning forward like she’s delivering incredibly important news, “has a bit of a situation.”

Normani snorts. “You make it sound like she’s got an STD or something.”

“She’d need to get some action for that,” Dinah replies, ignoring the disapproving look Ally gives her.

“I’ve had action!” Camila protests. Admittedly, it’s been quite a while since her last time, but…

Dinah scoffs. “Back with Musty Mahone.” Camila kicks a pillow at her, knocking Dinah’s phone out of her hand and sending her scrambling after it.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Lauren asks quietly, her nose brushing under Camila’s ear. It tickles and Camila half-turns, bumping their foreheads together. Lauren’s breath is warm and smells like the tea she so often drinks and her eyes are so bright and distracting and –

Camila shrugs, frowning softly. “I told my mom I’d have a date for my cousin’s wedding,” she tries not to grimace at her own words.

It’s always pretty ineffective – trying to hide her feelings from Lauren, because Lauren always seems to know what she’s feeling. It’s come from years of quiet conversations in the middle of the night, comforting and making Camila feel like she’s home.

Lauren tilts her head sympathetically as she reads into Camila’s words. “And you don’t have one?”

“She doesn’t,” Ally confirms.

 _“Dumbass_ ,” Dinah tacks on quietly.

Camila considers throwing something else at Dinah, but this all really is her own fault, so she tucks her chin to her chest and shakes her head.

“Yeah,” she mutters. “Awful, I know.”

“It’s not awful,” Lauren laughs, the noise sweet and comforting.

“It is,” Dinah insists, and Ally slaps at her for Camila.

“You could hire someone,” Normani suggests. “Like an escort.”

“Mani!” Ally gasps. “That’s awful.”

“It worked in Pretty Woman,” Normani defends, not looking very serious.

“I’m not hiring an escort,” Camila says. “Besides, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

“Only if you sleep with them,” Normani winks, startling Dinah into laughter again.

“Just ask a friend,” Lauren proposes, drinking her tea and looking the very picture of calm. Camila appreciates how steady Lauren is, especially when Camila’s all over the place like she is now.

“You could ask Shawn,” Ally says.

Camila shakes her head with a frown. “No, Shawn’s got a big performance this weekend.”

“What about Natasha?” Dinah offers.

“I’m pretty sure Natasha’s girlfriend might have a problem with it,” Normani says.

“Plus, my family expects me to be _dating_ whoever I bring. Or at least like them enough to,” Camila adds, her lips firming into a line.

“Then why not take one of us?” Ally suggests with a huge grin.

“Smalls, you fucking genius!” Dinah gasps.

Ally looks pretty pleased with herself and Lauren chuckles softly into the shell of Camila’s ear.

“What?” Camila squeaks. “You’re not – you’re not serious, are you?”

Dinah and Normani narrow their eyes almost simultaneously and lean forward.

“What’s wrong, Walz?” Dinah demands.

“We not good enough for you?” Normani adds.

“Absolutely not,” Camila says decisively, grinning when both girls reel back with offended gasps.

It’s not that Camila’s never been with girls before. Sure, she only dated guys her first year in college, but at some point, gender really just stopped being a factor for Camila. The other girls took it in stride, not even batting an eye when Camila went on dates with girls or guys or those who fell into neither category.

“Do your parents know you like girls?” Ally asks, her tone conversational.

“Kind of?” Camila answers. She gets looks from everyone in the room. “I mean, it’s never really come up, but I’ve talked about having girlfriends and stuff.”

“Okay, but straight people say girlfriends to describe platonic friends, too,” Lauren reminds gently.

“Oh shit,” Camila says. “I’m gonna have to come out to my parents at a fucking wedding.”

“And what better date to have than me!” Dinah sits up straight, tossing her hair over her should and giving Camila a blinding smile.

The girls all groan collectively.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Normani says.

“It’s pretty bad,” Ally agrees.

“I’d be the hottest date there!” Dinah protests.

“Yeah, and then you’ll sneak off with a waiter when you think no one’s looking,” Lauren teases.

Dinah narrows her eyes. “What’s your point?”

“You’re just kind of a fling girl,” Camila says. “And that’s cool, but I need these people to think I’m in a committed relationship. And some of them know you too well to buy it.”

Dinah shrugs, looking mostly unaffected.

“Normani, then?” Ally says.

“No way!” Dinah laughs. “Mani’s too mean to Walz for anyone to believe they’re dating.”

“That’s fair,” Normani admits with a tilt of her head. Lauren laughs behind Camila’s ear, the sound soft and raspy.

“Ally’s a shit actress,” Dinah says.

“And I’ve got a boyfriend,” Ally adds, not looking upset at all by Dinah’s comment.

“Your giant boyfriend wouldn’t approve of you getting a side chick?” Normani teases.

“He’s not that tall!” Ally protests.

“You’re just tiny,” Dinah says in a baby voice, pouting at Ally.

Camila lets the bickering fade to the background and looks to Lauren. She’s still got one hand around her mug, the other curled at the nape of Camila’s neck, scratching lightly at the skin there. It’s incredibly soothing to Camila, so much so that she just stares at Lauren, unable to tear her eyes away. It happens often, this staring, but Lauren never tell Camila to stop or chastises her for it.

“It’s gonna have to be me, then,” Lauren offers, the words sounding easy. Her dark hair is framing her face, making her eyes look even more vivid than usual. Her hand moves around and she drapes her arm over Camila’s shoulder, her fingers resting comfortably against Camila’s collarbone.

“Nice,” Dinah approves with a nod. “You were my first choice, Jauregui.”

“After yourself, huh?” Normani snorts.

“Of course,” Dinah nods.

“Of course,” Ally repeats. “That’s probably the best course of action.”

Camila’s heart thuds as she looks at Lauren. “You want to – I mean, you wouldn’t. Um. You think?”

The corner of Lauren’s lips tug into a grin. She looks really amused by Camila’s flustered state, which, rude, but Camila doesn’t have anything clever to say right now.

“Walz,” Dinah says sweetly, raising an arrogant eyebrow, lips already twisting into something vaguely lethal and familiar, “can you really not see how perfect this is?”

“Really?” Camila croaks, even as she and Lauren press closer and Lauren taps comfortingly at her collarbone.

“It wouldn’t be hard for the two of you to pull it off,” Normani agrees.

“I can definitely see it,” Ally adds.

And, like, okay, it’s not like Camila’s never noticed how beautiful Lauren is (because she notices it, like, _all the time_ ) or that she and Lauren are kind of touchy-feely with each other, but to be in an entire relationship together is… something else entirely.

Camila and Lauren exchange a look where they communicate silently, debating whether they should go through with it.

“Ugh!” Dinah gestures at them angrily. “They won’t even have to try!”

Lauren rolls her eyes as Normani kicks at Dinah, knocking her off the couch from where she’d been perched at the edge.

Camila giggles and reaches up to lace her fingers with Lauren’s where they rest on her clavicle. She gives them a squeeze and smiles when Lauren squeezes back.

“It’s a good idea, actually,” Lauren admits quietly as Ally snapchats Dinah and Normani fighting on the other sofa.

It’s sort of _not,_ for some reason Camila really can’t describe, but she really is desperate for a date.

“So it’s settled!” Dinah exclaims from where she’s got Normani pinned. Normani knocks her off and they’re back at it again.

“I guess so,” Camila agrees, smiling at Lauren.

It’s so easy in this comfortable living room in a house that they’ve been living in together for two years. The affection they share between them – at this point it’s so natural. Believable.

Lauren presses a clumsy kiss against the side of Camila’s head. There’s nothing weird about it and Camila thinks for the first time that it all might work out.

 

The steady hum of the plane is soothing but Camila can’t fall asleep.

It’s, like, eleven at night (or something – they’re crossing a few time zones right now) and Lauren is curled up with her head resting against Camila’s shoulder, breathing steadily.

Camila’s mom bought the tickets for the flight, which was really good because Camila had, like, four dollars in her account, so she was short a little. They’ve been flying for about an hour and they have hours left to go but Camila’s got nerves fluttering in her stomach so fiercely that she can’t even think about dozing off.

She’s aware of why, though. When she and Lauren boarded over an hour ago, Camila pulled out her phone and told Lauren to smile, snapping a quick selfie of the two. Lauren had pouted and complained that she wasn’t ready and Camila ignored her because Lauren looked like a damn model in the picture anyway (who looks good in candids? Lauren, apparently).

Camila sent the picture to her mother with a text that said _me and date are excited and on our way!!!_

Then she immediately shut her phone off.

Lauren sighs in her sleep and Camila smiles a little at the noise. Regardless of the whole fake-girlfriend thing, it’ll be really nice to have Lauren around for the weekend. Dinah has been Camila’s best friend since she was ten, but she and Lauren just… connect. There’s something special between the two of them that she can’t deny (not that she wants to), and it’s incredibly comforting as Camila’s about to have to brave lots of awkward extended family nosing into her business.

She’s nervous, of course. She did just come out to her mother via text message, which may not have been the most brilliant idea, but. Still.

“You’re thinking too loudly.”

Camila jumps a little when Lauren’s voice floats up to her ear. Lauren still has her eyes closed, but she definitely just spoke.

“Sorry,” Camila says.

Lauren stretches lazily as much as she can in the small space and slowly blinks her eyes open. She’s like a cat when she’s sleepy, Camila notes fondly.

“’S okay,” Lauren yawns. “Whatcha thinking about?”

Camila turns away from Lauren’s eyes, which are boring into her with alarming intensity for someone who just woke up.

“Just – you know, all the family that’s going to be there and. You know how I get with talking to people,” Camila replies.

Lauren’s laughter rumbles in the back of her throat. “Pretty odd, considering you want to be a shrink.”

“Talking about other people’s problems, I can handle,” Camila says, her reply practiced. This is a conversation they’ve had several times. “Talking about myself to people who are ready to pounce on everything I do wrong – not so much.”

Lauren hums noncommittally. “What’re you _really_ worried about?”

It would be annoying, sometimes, how Lauren always seems to know what Camila’s thinking, but Lauren’s always been good at knowing when to push and when to let off. Even when Camila’s not sure which one she needs.

“I just texted my mom about my date,” Camila says. Lauren frowns.

“My _female_ date,” Camila emphasizes.

“You…” Lauren blinks slowly, looking like she’s been caught off guard. Camila takes a moment to appreciate it; she very rarely catches Lauren off guard. “You came out of the closet to your mother by texting her?”

“Well what was I supposed to do?” Camila says defensively, struggling to keep her voice down. A lot of other passengers are still sleeping. “Just show up?”

Lauren looks mostly amused which kind of makes Camila frustrated.

“You could’ve told her, like, all week,” Lauren says reasonably. “You decided to take me as your date on Tuesday.”

“Shut up,” Camila snaps, feeling irrationally angry at Lauren, who was completely right. She shouldn’t have left this off until the last minute, but forgive her for being a little worried.

“Hey,” Lauren’s voice goes soft and Camila relaxes almost by instinct.

(Everything with Lauren seems instinctive to Camila.)

“You were scared,” Lauren says. “I get that.”

Which mostly just makes Camila feel guilty, because Lauren told her only a few weeks ago about how she came out to her parents when she was only seventeen and how their reactions were… less than pleasant. Their relationship was improving, Lauren had said as they curled up together, their voices low, but Camila knew it still hurt Lauren.

“But I know that anyone who raised someone as lovely as you has to be wonderful and kind.”

Camila looks at Lauren and Lauren’s staring at her with so much intensity that Camila thinks she can almost hear what Lauren’s thinking.

Then the plane jostles a little and Camila looks away, the moment broken.

“Compliments like that will have my mom wrapped around your finger in no time,” Camila chuckles nervously. But oddly enough, she’s not nervous about her mother anymore.

Lauren doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, then her voice comes out rough. “Good to know.”

 

Camila’s holding her breath when she turns her phone back on.

She has a message from her mother.

_She’s gorgeous!! Is this the Lauren I’ve always heard so much about? Let me know when you land._

Camila lets out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She knows her mother is a very open-minded person, but that didn’t keep her from fearing the worst possible reaction. She’s more relieved than she knows how to deal with.

“Hey,” Lauren drags both of their suitcases over from baggage claim. “Everything alright?”

Camila just tugs Lauren into a rib-crushing hug that knocks the wind out of both of them. Lauren hugs her back, running a hand up and down her spine.

“Is this good or bad?” Lauren wonders.

“Good,” Camila says, pulling back to beam at Lauren. “My mom says you’re gorgeous.”

Lauren’s cheeks go faintly pink. “That’s very nice of her.”

Camila just laughs and pulls Lauren along.

 

Lauren ends up driving the rental car because Camila’s nerves only grow worse the more time passes. She’s not even really sure why she’s so nervous, or why her heart keeps pounding harder every time she looks at Lauren.

It’s just – well she is about to show up to a wedding with one of her closest friends posing as her girlfriend. She’s lying to pretty much everyone in attendance, and while she doesn’t really care about her bitchy Aunt Amanda or her spiteful twin cousins, lying to her mother and father and little sister does send a twinge of guilt in her stomach.

Lauren’s humming to the radio. She doesn’t look nearly as anxious as Camila is, but Camila can still tell by the way she taps her hands against the steering wheel that she isn’t completely unaffected.

They’re nearly there when Lauren finally breaks the silence.

“Camz, are you sure you want to do this?”

Camila’s head whips around to stare at Lauren. “Do you not want to?”

Lauren shakes her head, glancing at Camila out of the corner of her eyes. “I’m here to help you, Camila, but you look like you’re about to throw up. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No,” Camila shakes her head immediately. “No it’s nothing like that, it’s just… you’ll stay with me the whole weekend, right? You’ll help me if I mess something up?”

They stop at a light and Lauren turns to look at Camila fully, her face going soft and fond. She reaches out and tangles their fingers together.

“Of course,” Lauren murmurs, her voice like a promise.

“Thank you, Lo,” Camila breathes back. “For all of this. This weekend would’ve been unbearable without you.”

“Of course,” Lauren says again, smiling gently.

Camila really does mean it. To be surrounded by all of her family who don’t really know about her and only mildly care about her because she’s ‘family’ sounds like pretty much one of the most unpleasant things Camila can think about. With Lauren, though, nothing’s really unpleasant. Even when they argue or frighten each other, Camila’s never really upset, because she knows that Lauren will be there for her at the end of it all.

“Besides,” Lauren turns to the road again, her voice casual, “I’m your girlfriend, aren’t I?”

That knocks the wind out of Camila a little and she can only nod dumbly. Because Lauren is her girlfriend for the weekend and that absolutely doesn’t feel odd (which is what actually _does_ make it odd).

When they pull up to the house, Camila might just keel over the second she gets out of the car. Lauren senses it (of _course_ she does) and reaches out to grab Camila’s hand again.

“Hey, relax,” she says, rubbing her thumb along Camila’s. “It’s just us, you know. I’ll be right here with you the whole time.”

That gives Camila the surge of confidence she needs. She steps out of the car and takes a deep, steady breath. It’s pleasantly cool outside, which is a nice surprise, but it _is_ nearly winter in Miami. Lauren gets out of the car and sends Camila a reassuring smile over the top of it.

_“Kaki!”_

Camila turns around and is promptly tackled against the car by Sofi. She’s not even really sure why her little sister is up, given that it’s nearly two in the morning.

“A little gentleness would be appreciated, Sof,” Camila groans.

“Sorry,” Sofi giggles, not looking very sorry at all. “I missed you.”

Camila’s scowl melts into a smile as she wraps her arms around her little sister. “I missed you, too.”

“Is that her?” Sofi’s voice drops to a very loud whisper as she looks at Lauren, who’s pulling their luggage out of the back of the car.

Belatedly, Camila realizes that Sofi’s asking if Lauren’s her date, so she nods.

“She’s super pretty,” Sofi goes on in her whispering that might be louder than her speaking voice. Camila catches the smile that grows on Lauren’s face.

“Yes she is,” Camila agrees quietly as she studies Lauren’s face.

Camila’s mother is walking out of the front door then, spreading her arms with a smile. Camila smiles as well, until her mother walks right past her to pull Lauren into a fierce hug.

“Oh, I’ve heard so much about you over the years, it’s so good to finally meet you. We’ve been waiting up for you,” she says when she pulls back.

Lauren’s fighting laughter, Camila can tell, but she’s still polite when she says, “It’s very nice to meet you Mrs. Cabello.”

“Call me Sinu,” Camila’s mother orders firmly. Then she turns to Camila almost accusingly. “I can’t believe you never told me you were dating this lovely girl.”

Lauren drifts closer to Camila as she stammers through her excuse.

“It’s still kind of new, I just didn’t want to – you know, jinx it or something.”

Lauren’s hand slides across Camila’s back to rest at her hip and Camila relaxes into the touch, looking over at Lauren.

“Well, we’re so glad you’re here. Both of you,” Sinu says happily.

Lauren carries their bags into the house, refusing to let Sinu help.

“Quite the chivalrous one, isn’t she?” Sinu says delightedly to Camila, who just smiles and nods.

Lauren meets Camila’s father, Alejandro, who beams at her and very loudly threatens to kick her ass if she ever hurts Camila (much to Camila’s mortification).

“I’d never hurt her, sir,” Lauren says, sounding absolutely resolute in her words.

Alejandro nods in approval. Camila almost can’t believe that they’ve got everyone convinced so easily. If her parents believe, the rest of the people at the wedding will as well.

 

There’s only one bed.

Camila knows her parents aren’t dumb, they’d expect her to sleep in the same bed as her girlfriend but, like. Lauren’s not _actually_ her girlfriend. Camila’s actually not sure why she’s even worried about something as dumb as sharing a bed, because it’s not like she and Lauren haven’t before, but that’s just because they’re best friends. Sleeping in the same bad as ‘girlfriend’ Lauren is…

Lauren doesn’t look concerned at all though, not even when Sinu gives the two of them an exaggerated wink.

“Your mom’s sweet,” she says lightly as she puts their bags down.

Camila snorts. “To you, maybe. Did you see the way she went right past me to hug you?”

Lauren wrinkles her nose. “Are you jealous of me and your mom?”

Camila barks out a laugh and tosses a pillow back at Lauren, who catches it with an easy grin.

“I’m not into married women,” Lauren insists, her eyes wide. “Or cougars.”

“Shut up,” Camila laughs, falling onto the bed.

Lauren lies down with her head on Camila’s stomach. Camila runs her fingers through Lauren’s hair habitually.

“Going well so far,” Lauren murmurs. “Your parents and your little sister. They think I’m a great girlfriend.”

“You are,” Camila agrees.

Lauren’s quiet for a moment and Camila can’t see her face, but the silence feels weighted. Then Lauren says, “Better girlfriend than Hansen, that’s for sure,” and Camila giggles, the heaviness gone.

They move around each other, getting ready for bed. They’ve shared a bathroom for years as roommates, so their routine flows easily.

They’re finally in bed, some space between them. They’re usually cuddled up when they sleep, but Camila still feels odd about the whole my-parents-totally-think-we’re-banging thing, so she’s thinking maybe space will be good for tonight.

“Night, Lo.”

“Goodnight, Camz.”

 

(Camila wakes up a few hours later with her arms wrapped around Lauren and her head tucked under Lauren’s chin and she thinks it was kind of dumb of her for trying to avoid the inevitable.)

 

“Why are we going to the bridesmaids’ brunch if we’re not bridesmaids?” Camila complains into her cup of coffee. She’s standing at the counter and frowning at her mother, who’s perched on a barstool.

“Don’t whine,” Sinu orders, looking calm as she flips through the morning paper. Camila can’t believe that her mother still reads the newspaper, but it’s nice to see that some things never change.

“Lauren and I only got here, like, six hours ago,” Camila says.

Lauren’s actually still upstairs in bed, which doesn’t surprise Camila at all – Lauren’s never been much of a morning person. When Camila crawled out of bed only twenty minutes before, she placed a hesitant kiss on Lauren’s forehead (like she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to do that) before rushing out of the room.

“You’re in college, surely you’ve operated on less sleep than this,” Sinu replies.

Camila grumbles into her coffee because that may be true, but she _likes_ to sleep, and not sleeping is not fun.

Warm hands slide around her waist, startling Camila. Lauren’s thumbs slide under the bottom of Camila’s t-shirt and rub at the smooth skin of her stomach as Lauren hooks her chin over Camila’s shoulder.

It’s not an unusual position – Lauren’s always cuddly when she’s sleepy, and she spends most mornings draped across at least one of the girls in their house.

“G’morning,” Lauren mumbles.

Sinu tosses them an adoring look, and Camila finds that more flustering than anything else.

“I tried not to wake you,” Camila tells Lauren.

“It was cold in bed without you,” Lauren says candidly. “Is there more coffee?”

Camila pours her a cup and Lauren stands next to Camila to peck her on the cheek in thanks.

“Oh, you don’t have to feign modesty here, girls, have a real good morning kiss,” Sinu teases.

Camila stares at her mother and before she can say anything else, Lauren’s fingers tap at Camila’s jaw and –

It makes Camila’s heart race, if she’s being honest. Lauren’s lips taste like mint toothpaste and they’re soft and gentle against Camila’s. Somehow – oddly – it doesn’t feel strange at all. It feels like something they’ve always done, something that comes naturally to them.

It’s not a long kiss, or a particularly deep one, and Lauren pulls back with a sparkle in her eyes that Camila can’t identify.

Her mother’s still in the room and Camila knows that she and Lauren are supposed to be girlfriends, and that, she tells herself, is why she leans in to press another kiss to Lauren’s mouth.

_“Gross!”_

Lauren and Camila jerk apart, startled. It was Sofi’s voice that interrupted them, surely wrinkling her nose at their affection, but Camila can’t stop staring at Lauren.

“Hush, Sofi, someday you’ll find someone to love and kiss,” Sinu says.

Camila chokes a little and Lauren coughs into her fist, looking away as her cheeks flush pink.

“I’m gonna, um,” Lauren gestures back towards the stairs, “get ready.”

She leaves and Sinu sets in on teasing Camila but Camila’s lips are still tingling and she can’t really focus on her mother because all she can think about is how much she _really_ liked kissing her best friend.

 

“I hate weddings,” Camila mutters to Lauren under her breath.

Lauren cocks an eyebrow at her. “Never getting married?”

“I’ll elope,” Camila decides. “Just go to the courthouse and get it done. Weddings aren’t the point of being married, being married is the point of being married.”

Lauren gives Camila this fond look she always has when Camila’s rambling about something that doesn’t really make any sense.

“I’ve seen your wedding dress pinterest board, Camz,” Lauren says. “It’s… extensive.”

“So I’ll wear a wedding dress to the courthouse. Who could stop me?”

Lauren chuckles quietly and loops her arm around Camila’s waist, tugging her closer while Camila sips at her mimosa.

The brunch is annoying to Camila, full of nearly every woman in her family and Angelina’s fiancé’s family. It’s like a minefield laid out before her, and any wrong step will suck her into a conversation she really doesn’t want to be a part of.

So she hangs back with Lauren, telling her all the drama she can remember between certain family members while drinking champagne and orange juice.

“I don’t think anyone in their right mind would try to stop you once you’ve set your mind to something,” Lauren snorts.

Camila squints at her. “Is that an insult or a compliment?”

Lauren shoots Camila an amused look before walking off to get a refill on her drink, which inadvertently leaves Camila hung out to dry in a room full of invasive women.

Her Aunt Amanda sidles up to her in record time and Camila has to actively work to suppress her groan when the woman appears.

“Who’s that you brought with you?” Aunt Amanda asks.

 _Hello to you, too,_ Camila thinks, but Aunt Amanda’s never been the small talk type.

“My girlfriend, Lauren,” Camila says confidently (she practiced in the shower).

“Oh,” Aunt Amanda hums sympathetically, tilting her head and giving Camila this pitying smile that makes Camila grit her teeth. “Couldn’t get a date, so you just brought a friend, huh? There’s no shame in that.”

It’s about as insincere as a person can be and Camila only restrains herself because her mother would be very upset if she punched Aunt Amanda.

(How her mother turned out so sweet and kind when she had the devil for a sister is beyond Camila, but, whatever.)

“Actually,” Camila begins, “Lauren is my _girlfriend.”_

Aunt Amanda blinks, still not understanding and it really pisses Camila off for some reason. Lauren is her _girlfriend_ , is that so hard to understand?

“We’re together,” Camila tries to keep her temper as she explains. “We go on dates and hold hands and kiss, because she’s my _girlfriend_.”

It must finally click for Aunt Amanda based on the way her face warps into poorly concealed disapproval.

 _“Oh_ ,” she says. “I didn’t know you were… like _that_.”

Camila nearly crushes her glass in her hand. “Like _what_ , exactly?” she demands, anger seeping into her voice despite her attempts to keep it under control.

“Camila, sweetheart!”

Camila turns, still feeling the steam practically coming out of her ears as her Aunt Estefani approaches them very quickly.

“So good to see you, your girlfriend has been chatting with Angelica and I, why don’t you come join us?” she suggests hastily, very obviously giving Camila an out from her current conversation.

“Sure!” Camila chirps gritting her teeth into a smile. “Let’s go see my _girlfriend_ ,” she directs the last word to Aunt Amanda as she walks away with Aunt Estefani.

Estefani pulls her to a stop in an empty corner and Camila tries to reel herself in.

“You looked like you were about to murder her,” Estefani says lightly.

“I was seriously considering it,” Camila mutters darkly. “She’s just so – I mean, she was. You know.”

“Trust me, I do know,” Aunt Estefani chuckles. “But I really did come over to grab you. Angelica’s talking to your Lauren.”

 _My Lauren_ , Camila thinks. She likes it more than she cares to admit.

“She’s a wonderful girl,” Estefani says happily. “My daughter might just make her a last minute bridesmaid, the way they’re getting along right now.”

Camila looks over just as Lauren tosses her head back to laugh at whatever Angelica said. She always laughs like that, full-bodied and loud and contagious. Camila smiles at the sound.

“You’re certainly smitten,” Aunt Estefani decides.

“What?” Camila turns back, but Estefani is already dragging her over to the bride and her ‘girlfriend’.

“Mila!” Angelica cries when she spots her.

“Hi, Angie,” Camila laughs when Angelica pulls her into an enthusiastic hug.

“I’ve been talking to your girl, and I’ve decided you have to keep her,” Angie says.

Camila looks over Angelica’s shoulder where Lauren is talking to Estefani.

“Is that so?”

“Yes,” Angie nods firmly. “I like her.”

“Watch it, you’re getting married in less than forty-eight hours,” Camila warns.

Angie just laughs and moves closer to her mother and Lauren.

Camila slides into place next to Lauren. “Hi,” she says.

“Hi,” Lauren grins at her. “Long time no see.”

Camila smiles back and impulsively leans in to peck Lauren on the lips. Lauren’s eyes go a little wider, but she looks pretty unfazed.

“This is unacceptable,” Angie complains. “The weekend of my wedding and I’m being upstaged by the cutest couple ever.”

Camila blushes and looks away from Lauren, but she can feel Lauren’s eyes are still on her.

“So how did you two meet?” Aunt Estefani asks, looking genuinely interested. It’s only because she’s Camila’s favorite Aunt that she decides she might as well answer honestly.

But Lauren beats her to it.

“We met in a coffee shop.”

“Unbelievable,” Angie says. “You’re like a perfect romance movie couple.”

“Actually,” Camila says, glancing at Lauren out of the corner of her eye. It’s been over two years and she’s still embarrassed about the first time they met.

“Camila bumped into me and spilled her coffee on me,” Lauren smirks back at Camila, surely reveling in the flush it brings to Camila’s cheeks.

“That does sound very much like Camila,” Aunt Estefani laughs.

“Well, we sat down and got to talking and Camila was telling me about how awful her roommate was, and we ended up renting a house with a bunch of our friends. We didn’t start dating until pretty recently,” Lauren explains.

She sounds so confident and sure when she explains it. She also leaves out the most embarrassing part of it all – that Camila had really burst into tears the second she spilled her coffee and continued to weep pretty much the rest of the time they spent together in that coffee shop. Lauren was probably too nice to leave Camila’s crying ass alone, but Camila’s glad it happened.

They spend a little more time talking with Angie, but eventually the bride excuses herself to tend to the other guests at the brunch.

“You totally left me for dead,” Camila gripes.

“I didn’t realize it was so serious,” Lauren replies, looking unbothered.

“You haven’t met my Aunt Amanda,” Camila mutters darkly.

“Judging by the look in your eyes, I’m not sure I want to,” Lauren says.

And the idea of her Aunt Amanda makes Camila’s stomach churn because she _knows_ how incredibly unpleasant the woman is on a good day, let alone at a time like now when her unpleasantness is at an all-time high.

“Yeah, you should stay away from her,” Camila says, her voice more solemn than she meant it to be.

Lauren turns to look at her, the smile sliding off her face when she sees how serious Camila.

“Okay,” Lauren promises. “I’ll stay away.”

Breathing’s a little easier then and Camila presses a kiss to Lauren’s cheek.

“Thank you,” Camila says.

 

“Kaki _never_ lets me get on her shoulders!” Sofi squeals from on top of Lauren.

“That’s because she’s lame,” Lauren says matter-of-factly, and Sofi laughs in agreement.

It’s too cute for Camila to really be upset, but she still pouts and says, “Hey!”

“Don’t worry, Camz, I like lame,” Lauren tells her, hazarding a kiss on the cheek with Sofi balanced on her shoulders.

“No kisses while I’m in charge!” Sofi demands.

“Right, of course,” Lauren nods immediately. “Sorry Camz, no kisses for you.”

“Such a shame,” Camila jokes (and if she means it a little, no one has to know).

Camila’s really just beyond grateful that she and Lauren managed to get out of the bachelorette party. It was a Friday night that she would have to spend with drunken girls screaming in her ear and as much as Angie insisted for Camila to be there, she managed to get out of it.

Instead, she and Lauren are walking along the beach with Sofi, the moonlight bright enough that they can easily see.

Sofi’s always been a very talkative kid, and with Lauren as her official New Favorite Person™, there’s no stopping her. Lauren listens very attentively, gasping and asking questions in all the right places. Sofi adores it.

Actually, all of Camila’s family adore Lauren. She’s only been around for a day and she’s got the whole Cabello family wrapped around her finger. Camila even tells her as much.

(“I think my family likes you more than they like me,” Camila says.

Lauren scoffs and rolls her eyes but Camila insists, “I’m serious!”

“Well,” Lauren says, her eyes burning into Camila’s, “you’re still my favorite. No matter what.”)

Camila almost jumps when her phone rings in her pocket.

“Hello?”

“I’m almost to the pier to pick up Sofi, meet me there in five minutes,” Sinu orders.

“What –?” Camila starts, but her mother hangs up before she can say any more. Camila stares at the phone for a few seconds.

“Who was on the phone?” Sofi asks, apparently managing to stop her story about her friend losing her tooth by falling off the slide in order to pay attention to her surroundings.

“Mom,” Camila answers. “She’s coming to pick you up, she says.”

Sofi whines and slumps against Lauren’s head dramatically, almost sending both of them toppling into the sand before Lauren catches her balance.

“Watch it, kid, I’m walking for both of us here,” Lauren complains, turning Sofi’s pout to giggles.

They make it to the pier and, sure enough, Sinu’s there waiting. Lauren carefully removes Sofi from her shoulders and lets the girl run to her mother.

“What do you say to the girls for taking you out?” Sinu asks Sofi.

“Thank you,” Sofi chants dutifully.

“We would’ve brought her back ourselves,” Camila tells her mother.

“Oh, I know,” Sinu says. “I just wanted the two of you to have some _alone_ time.” She gives them an exaggerated wink – just like the one when she showed them their room – and then she’s off, tugging Sofi with her.

Camila’s face burns because _god_ could her mother be _any more embarrassing?_

“I see where you get your masterful subtlety from,” Lauren jokes, looking unfazed.

“We’re on a public beach, what does she think is going to happen?” Camila demands, ignoring Lauren’s jab.

Lauren laughs and tugs Camila closer to her so that they’re walking with their arms around each other. They’re silent for a while, just enjoying each other’s company as they leave footprints in the sand together.

“Today was nice,” Lauren says finally.

Camila hums and nods. “I told you, my family all love you already.”

Lauren looks pensive and serious then, which isn’t unusual for her, so Camila stay silent while Lauren gathers her thoughts.

“I just want them to know that they don’t have to worry about you. That I’m on your side, I guess,” Lauren shrugs.

Camila’s heart swells and her lips twitch at the corners because Lauren’s always been so selfless. That’s what Camila admires most about her, that Lauren would do anything for the people she cares about. Especially for the people she loves.

The last thought spreads an odd warmth that encompasses Camila’s chest and she leans in to peck the corner of Lauren’s jaw.

“You’re sweet,” Camila says, smiling when Lauren’s cheeks go pink.

Lauren scoffs and rolls her eyes lightly shoving Camila away from her. “Shut up.”

Camila shoves back harder and takes off, laughing as Lauren stumbles. Lauren catches up to her easily and knocks them both onto the soft sand, rolling until they’re both covered in it and giddy with laughter. Camila’s nearly on top of Lauren when they stop. Lauren’s grinning so wide that her eyes are squinted in the way that always makes her look like a puppy to Camila and Camila starts to lean in to kiss her.

Then her brain kicks in and halfway there, she jerks back like she’s been stung. She knows she must be wide-eyed, because Lauren’s not smiling anymore, staring up at Camila with an unreadable look in her eyes.

Camila just got caught up in the moment, is all, feeling like she needs to prove to everyone that Lauren’s really her girlfriend. Even though she’s not and there’s no one around to prove it to.

They’re both silent, looking at each other under the moonlight.

Finally, Camila says, “We should head back,” her voice barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” Lauren agrees, something like disappointment in her voice as Camila sits up. They both brush the sand off themselves and walk back to their car quietly.

It’s almost uncomfortable between them, Camila notes, and she doesn’t like it at all. Lauren’s never made her feel awkward before. She knocks the backs of their hands together and Lauren turns her hand so that Camila can slide their palms together, finger intertwined.

Just like that, everything is normal again. Lauren tells Camila about what she and Angie talked about at the brunch and Camila tells Lauren about her unsavory Aunt Amanda.

By the time they make it back to the house and take turns showering, they’re both so exhausted that they fall into bed. They sleep wrapped up in each other’s arms, feeling completely at ease.

 

(The almost-not-quite-nearly-was kiss they shared earlier plays on loop in Camila’s mind but she shoves the thought away. She doesn’t want it to come between her and Lauren.)

 

“What’s up, fuck?”

Camila pinches the bridge of her nose and suppresses a sigh. “Hello, Dinah.”

“How’s the whole wedding thing going? Everyone convinced you’re dating Lauser?”

“Yeah,” Camila murmurs. “That’s… kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

 _“Ally, don’t let my macaroni overcook!_ ” Dinah’s voice becomes a little fainter as she presumably pulls the phone from her face and shouts across the room. Camila waits patiently, faintly amused by Dinah’s humming as she stomps to her room and loudly shuts the door.

“Okay,” Dinah says finally. “What’s up, you’ve got your serious voice thing going on.”

Camila leans up against the railing of the back porch. Lauren was asleep when Camila left their room ( _their_ room), and the sun is just starting to warm Camila as it rises. She had a weird dream.

“Walz? You still there?”

“Yeah,” Camila shakes her head to clear it. “It’s just. I’ve been thinking.”

Another pause.

“Congratulations?” Dinah offers.

Camila sighs and tilts her head back. “Is this a bad idea?”

“I’m gonna need you to be a little more specific.”

Camila runs a hand through her hair, tugging on it a little to clear her head. “You know, bringing Lauren home and telling everyone I’m dating her. I’m lying to everyone.”

Dinah’s quiet for a second. “I need Ally for this,” she decides. _“Ally!”_

“Wait,” Camila’s heart races as she protests. For some reason she knows this conversations going to be a little more serious than she’d like, and the thought of letting another person into her thoughts feels… unsettling.

“ _Mani, don’t let Dinah’s macaroni overcook!”_ Ally’s voice comes faint over the phone while she enters Dinah’s room. Camila takes a second to be entertained by how ridiculous her friends are but she quickly shrugs that off as Ally asks, “What’s up?”

“Walz thinks taking Lauren was a bad idea,” Dinah informs Ally.

Camila almost feels like she needs to defend herself. “I’m lying to my whole family.”

Ally makes a thoughtful noise and Dinah practically scoffs. Maybe Camila should’ve texted Normani.

“It’s not _really_ lying,” Dinah says.

“They think we’re in _love_ ,” Camila said, her heart thundering at the thought. Being in love with Lauren – that would certainly be something.

“Well, you love her, don’t you?” Ally prompts.

“Of course I do,” Camila replies. “But not like _that._ I love all of you guys.”

“But you love Lauren more?” Dinah presses. Camila can practically see the wicked gleam in her eyes.

“No!” Camila’s voice cracks on the denial. Very reassuring.

“You totally do!” Dinah practically cackles.

“I love you all equally,” Camila insists. She feels like some weird parent trying to reassure her children, except her children actually _want_ her to pick a favorite. Or something.

“Of course you do,” Ally soothes. Camila relaxes a little; at least she has one person on her side.

“Maybe you just love Lauren differently,” Ally adds and Camila very nearly hangs up right then and there.

Dinah’s laughter rings over the line but maybe Ally can sense that Camila’s pretty frazzled, because she changes the subject back to what Camila originally asked.

“It’s not _really_ wrong,” Ally begins, which isn’t super reassuring, but Camila’s willing to take what she can get at this point. “You’re just spending the weekend with your friend.”

“Who you _love_ ,” Dinah drags the word out teasingly and Camila groans. “Ally’s right, though, it’s no big deal. It’s not like you guys have made out or anything.”

Camila mind flickers back to the kiss they shared their first morning in front of her mother and the almost kiss that happened at the beach the night before.

“Oh my god, _have you made out?!”_ Dinah’s very loud voice brings Camila back to reality.

“No, Dinah, Jesus, we haven’t made out!” Camila says, because it’s true, they _haven’t_. But they’ve definitely kissed. And it definitely didn’t feel like just a random kiss between friends.

“Don’t think about it so much,” Ally advises. “It’s not really their business who you date anyway. Just enjoy yourself and worry about that other stuff later.”

“That sounds a lot like procrastinating,” Camila says weakly.

“Which I know you’re good at,” Ally says cheerfully. “I’m gonna go make sure Mani hasn’t burned the kitchen down. Have fun, Mila!”

“Thanks,” Camila grumbles.

“Seriously, though, Walz,” Dinah’s voice becomes a little lower. “Are you alright?”

Everything has been so overwhelming the past few days that Camila’s not even sure. “I don’t know,” she tells Dinah, her voice a little more miserable than she intended.

Dinah sighs a little. “I know you're probably having a rough time. Those big family gatherings are never fun. Add in all this stuff with Lauren – I get it, I really do,” she says. Her voice has gone soft and soothing, very unlike her usual boisterous tone, but she’s always been good at helping Camila calm down. “You’ve only got two more days, though. You’re gonna get through this.”

Camila, embarrassingly enough, has to rub at her eyes to keep tears from escaping them. She always gets emotional at the worst times.

“Thanks Cheechee,” she says, keeping her voice level.

“’Course, Chanch. See you soon.”

When Camila climbs the stairs, she’s surprised to find Lauren sitting up in bed and on the phone.

“Thanks, Mani,” Lauren says sincerely just as Camila pushes the door open. Lauren freezes for a second, ending the call. Then she just curls back up on the bed.

“It’s too early to get out of bed,” she declares. “Come cuddle with me.”

Camila rolls her eyes, but she climbs back into bed, lying so that she and Lauren are facing each other, only inches between their noses. The sunlight is just starting to filter through the curtains, but Camila doesn’t mind, because the natural lighting makes Lauren’s eyes sparkle a vibrant green.

“What’d you and Mani talk about?” Camila asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I had a weird dream,” Lauren admits. “I just wanted to tell someone about it.”

“I had a weird dream, too,” Camila says before she can stop herself.

Lauren just hums, not asking Camila to explain any further. Mostly just because she’s is already dropping back into sleep – Camila has no idea how she does it – and burrowing further into her pillow.

Camila’s relieved Lauren didn’t ask about her dream. How was she supposed to tell her friend that she dreamed about following through with that kiss on the beach?

No, it was better that Lauren didn’t know.

 

“I’ve never really understood the point of the rehearsal dinner,” Lauren says. “We all know how to have dinner. This is just more money being spent on a fancy gathering that will only end in drunk uncles giving speeches.”

“At least there are no uncles on my side of the family,” Camila says. “No blood related ones, anyway.”

“Yeah, just your mom and her two sisters, an angel and Satan,” Lauren jokes.

Camila cracks a grin at that. Her conversation with Dinah and Ally earlier has left a sort of calm feeling in her.

(She wonders how long it will last.)

There’s laughter, pleasant and hearty from the head table. Camila almost feels guilty about how relieved she is to not be at that table. She loves Angie, really she does, but she’s perfectly content to be sat at a table with just Lauren and her family. Lauren pulled her chair closer to Camila’s after only five minutes, and they’ve been giggling with each other, hands interlocked, for most of the night.

Camila’s glad Lauren’s there, because otherwise, Camila would’ve had to resort to drinking the night away, which would have only ended in disaster.

(Also Lauren looks stunning in her dress, but that’s beside the point.)

Camila manages to keep herself under control for all of the speeches, even as Lauren’s practically running a nonstop monologue that has Camila biting back laughter.

“You’re such an asshole,” Camila mutters to her after ever politely applauds the best man’s speech.

Lauren just grins back at her.

Sofi talks to Lauren for nearly twenty minutes (Lauren listening intently all the while) before Camila can break into the conversation.

“Can I have my girlfriend back, Sof?” Camila asks.

Lauren’s eyes snap to Camila in an instant. She looks almost surprised.

“Sure,” Sofi agrees easily. She turns the other way and starts talking to Alejandro like nothing interrupted her.

“C’mon, I spot Aunt Amanda making her way over,” Camila tugs at Lauren until she rises from her seat. “I don’t want to give her the satisfaction of pissing me off.”

“How do you know she’ll piss you off?” Lauren asks, trailing after Camila obediently.

“She always does,” Camila says wryly. “She’s talented like that.”

Most people are wandering around at this point, a few drunken speeches still going on in the background that no one’s really paying attention to.

“Camila!”

Camila turns and smiles, pulling the man who called for her into a hug. “Hi, Danny.”

When she pulls back, Lauren is waiting patiently, curiously looking between the two.

“Lauren, this is Danny,” Camila introduces. “He’s the groom you’ve managed to evade for two days.”

Lauren smiles brightly and offers her hand to shake. “Nice to meet you,” she says sincerely.

“Nice to meet _you_ ,” Danny insists. “Angie’s been talking about you all day. I was worried you might slip her right out from under me the day before our wedding,” he jokes.

“I’d _never_ ,” Lauren replies. “Although, she is _very_ pretty.”

Danny and Lauren both laugh together and Camila really can’t believe just how good at all of this Lauren really is.

“I guess I’m lucky you’ve already got a girl, then,” Danny says.

“Yeah,” Lauren turns and gives Camila a look filled with what Camila can only describe as adoration. Camila’s cheeks flush and she ducks away, a smile practically splitting her face. “Lucky.”

Someone’s voice raises across the room and Danny rolls his eyes. “That’ll be Uncle Jerry. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” he says, fast walking in the direction of a man very loudly talking about something Camila can’t decipher.

“How do you do that?” Camila asks before she can help it.

Lauren raises an eyebrow. “Do what?”

“How do you always know the right things to say? How do you look at me like… like _that_?”

Lauren’s smile slides off her face and she looks very serious all of a sudden. “I’m your girlfriend,” she reminds Camila quietly.

It’s a little too intense – almost _frightening_ , if Camila’s honest – and she turns her head to look at the ground.

“You’ve always been a better actor than me,” Camila tries to joke, but her tone goes flat and it’s kind of pained sounding.

Lauren’s very quiet for a few seconds and Camila doesn’t look up. “Yeah, I’ve always been a great actor,” Lauren mutters, her voice strained. “Excuse me a second.” She slips away from Camila and practically vanishes into the crowd.

Camila spends the next half hour alone as she very discreetly tries to search for Lauren. But it’s like Lauren has disappeared. Eventually, she retreats to a corner with a drink in hand. She doesn’t really know what happened.

“Oh, hi, Karla.”

“Long time no see.”

Camila has to shove down the urge to groan as loud as she can. She slaps on a smile that she’s sure looks forced and turns to face the two girls that have her cornered.

“Hello Gabriella. Hello Isabella.”

It’s almost bizarre to Camila. Most twins like to kind of form their own identity and not be so closely associated with their identical sibling but these two have really done the opposite. They’re two years older than Camila, they attend the same school, the same classes, they wear their hair the same; at this point, Camila’s surprised they don’t have matching outfits.

“Not too surprised to see you lurking on the outside,” Gabriella says.

“As always,” Isabella tacks on.

Isn’t there supposed to be an evil twin and a nice twin? When Camila was younger she used to imagine that there was a third sister and that she donates to charities and volunteers at soup kitchens and old folks’ homes. Like maybe all of the nice that was supposed to be spread out among three girls was actually only put into one, resulting in two mean girls and one practically saintly girl.

It’s a nice thought, at least.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Isabella asks.

“Not good form to leave you all alone like this,” Gabriella adds.

They’re definitely their mother’s daughter. Aunt Amanda would be thrilled.

“She’s in the ladies’ room,” Camila deflects politely. “I’m sure she’ll be back any minute.”

The twins exchange a look. Camila feels like she’s in that one horror movie with the creepy little girls in the hallway or something. Lauren knows horror movies better than her.

“So,” Gabriella begins.

“How’s your schooling going?” Isabella finishes.

God, do the two of them share a brain?

Camila sucks in a breath through her nose. She really doesn’t want to be talking to these girls. She wants to find Lauren and apologize for… whatever it is she did.

“It’s going well,” she says. “I’m on track to finish ahead of schedule.”

“That’s nice,” Gabriella says. “And then what?”

Camila grits her teeth. “And then I’d like to become a psychologist –”

“So you don’t have a plan?” Gabriella interrupts.

Camila flounders for a second. “Well, I –”

Isabella cuts her off. “Gabby and I already have jobs set up and we’re not graduating until the spring.”

“That’s nice,” Camila says, just shy of being sarcastic.

“So you have no plan? No prospects?” Isabella prods.

“I,” Camila hesitates. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“I hear that’s a hard job market,” Gabriella says, all fake sympathy that makes frustration bubble up and nearly choke Camila.

“You’ll probably just end up as some fast food worker,” Isabella nods.

Camila bites back the retort that there’s nothing wrong with fast food workers (because there _isn’t_ ), as that argument won’t really be of much help with her snobbish, elitist cousins.

“And then your girlfriend will dump you and you’ll be a washed up loser for life,” Gabriella finishes with a pleased nod.

Horrifyingly enough, Camila’s eyes start to well up with tears. She’s always been a frustrated crier, and the thought of Lauren leaving her – even though they aren’t really dating – makes a lump burn in Camila’s throat.

“Hey, babe, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Lauren suddenly appears, pressing a quick kiss to Camila’s lips that stuns pretty much everyone in the little corner they’re all huddled in. Lauren turns to the twins and gives them a winning smile. “Hi, I’m Lauren. And you are?”

Camila gets a brief moment to revel in the stunned looks on her cousins’ faces.

“Gabriella.”

“Isabella.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Lauren says pleasantly. “Has Camila been bragging about her internship?”

“Internship?” Gabriella echoes faintly.

“Yeah, my Camz isn’t one to brag,” Lauren says fondly, looking down at Camila. Camila’s really just too taken aback to do anything but watch this all unfold. “She got an internship at one of the biggest psychiatric hospital in California. I’m very proud of her,” Lauren declares as she smiles.

Suddenly, Lauren looks back up to the twins, her gaze sharp and her smile a little more lethal. “Aren’t you?”

The twins both nod dumbly.

“That’s good,” Lauren says, any threatening air about her gone in an instant. “Camz, I actually needed to talk to you about something.”

Camila nods quickly. _Anything_ to get away from the demon twins.

Lauren drags her all the way outside of the reception hall, until they’re standing out in the cool air. Before Camila can say anything, Lauren tugs her into a hug. Camila melts into the embrace, clinging to Lauren and settling her breathing that she didn’t even know had gone shaky. When Camila stops hearing her heartbeat thumping in her ears, she pulls back to look at Lauren.

“Sorry,” Lauren mumbles, swiping under Camila’s eyes where she’s sure her makeup has smudged. “Didn’t mean to leave you all alone.”

“It’s okay,” Camila sniffles a little. “I’ve been dealing with them for a long time.”

“Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to. I’m your partner now,” Lauren frowns, then she blinks, like she’s just realized something. “Or at least for the weekend. We’re supposed to tackle shitty family members together. That’s why you brought me along.”

“I brought you along because I wanted you here with me,” Camila says. “You’re my best friend.”

Lauren grows quiet, her eyes almost glowing in the faint lighting of the parking lot. Camila doesn’t look away for once, staring right back at Lauren. After a few seconds, Lauren smiles faintly.

“I don’t have an internship,” Camila says suddenly, as though she just realized.

“Well,” Lauren shrugs. “They don’t need to know about that. They were kind of creepy – I felt like I was looking at the little girls from the Shining.”

“That’s what I thought!” Camila says, smiling when Lauren laughs.

“Let’s go back inside,” Lauren says.

“Wait,” Camila pulls Lauren to a stop. “I wanted to apologize for… upsetting you earlier.”

“Nah,” Lauren waves it off. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“But you _were_ upset.”

“It’s fine,” Lauren shrugs.

“Are you sure?” Camila presses.

“Yeah,” Lauren says. She gives Camila an odd smile, one that looks almost… sad. “I’ll get over it.”

 

Camila blinks away the fuzzy spots in her visions as the flash goes off yet again.

“Just one more!” Sinu begs for probably the tenth time.

Camila presses a groan down, feeling like a petulant child. But her mother’s been taking pictures for _forever_ now.

“Don’t whine,” Lauren practically giggles into the shell of Camila’s ear. Camila rolls her eyes and crunches her face up in a ridiculous smile while Lauren laughs.

Sinu frowns at her phone, as it’s likely out of focus, and gestures for another picture. Camila scowls this time and Sinu raises a scolding finger. “None of that Karla Camila, smile and make nice with your girlfriend.”

Camila scoffs, though she can’t help but smile as she looks at Lauren. The flash goes off again, but Camila’s barely paying attention.

Alejandro finally puts Camila out of her misery. “Alright, Sinu, let’s find our seats.”

Sinu makes a noise of complaint and snaps one more picture just as Lauren leans in to press a kiss to Camila’s cheek. “Adorable,” she coos.

Camila’s cheeks grow warm and she slides into the pew next to Lauren.

Lauren laces their fingers together easily, the feeling familiar and calming. Camila giggles when Lauren picks up their hands and kisses at each of Camila’s knuckles.

Another flash goes off behind them.

“Leave them be, Sinu,” Alejandro says.

Camila ducks her laughter against Lauren’s shoulder.

The ceremony isn’t too large; only a few dozen people total are in the church. Camila smiles and makes faces at the flower girls, who giggle sweetly.

When Camila comments on the purple bridesmaid dresses, Lauren sniffs haughtily.

“They’re lilac, actually,” Lauren says in a voice that sounded remarkably similar to how the twins did the night before. Camila has to bite her lip to keep from laughing aloud.

“Bet you ten bucks Danny cries first,” Lauren whispers as they rise for the bride’s march.

“You’re on,” Camila grins.

Angie’s a stunning bride. Her dress is gorgeous and she looks like she belongs in a wedding magazine. She only makes it halfway down the aisle before Camila loses the bet.

“Danny’s crying,” Lauren murmurs delightedly.

“No he’s not,” Camila gasps, but when she turns her head, Danny is absolutely dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief that his best man gave him. “Oh, damn it,” Camila whines.

Lauren just laughs.

The crowd is near silent as the two recite their vows. Near the end of Angie’s, Camila turns to look at Lauren to comment on how beautiful they are, only to find Lauren already staring at her. Camila feels like she’s trapped in place, pinned under Lauren’s gaze. Then Lauren gives her a little smile, pecks her cheek, and faces the front.

 

Camila wrinkles her nose at the little arrangement in the center of the table. It’s been crushed flat –Camila’s not sure how – but the little flower petals still look pretty. The music is kind of loud in the reception hall, but Camila doesn’t mind. One of the flower girls runs over to sit in Camila’s lap and giggle before dashing off again like a little fairy.

“Hey,” Angie appears suddenly in her beautiful gown. If Camila ever wore so much white, she’d have stained it pretty badly at this point.

Camila smiles and hugs her tightly. “You’re a married woman now. Speaking of, aren’t you supposed to stick with your husband?”

Angie brightens at the word ‘husband’, but she waves her hand. “He’ll be fine. After all, we’ve got all the time in the world.”

Camila smiles at the words, getting that warm and fuzzy feeling she always gets when her loved ones are happy.

“But you have quite the girl yourself,” Angie comments, looking over Camila’s shoulder.

Camila frowns for a moment, looking over her shoulder.

Oh. Right.

Lauren’s on the dance floor, easily spinning with Camila’s father and a smile on her lips. Then Sofi runs up and demands to dance with Lauren, and they’re off in no time.

“Yeah,” Camila mumbles. “She’s… wonderful.”

Lauren tilts her head back to laugh at something, her eyes squinting as Sofi looks pleased, probably with some dumb joke that Lauren found way too funny.

“Well you don’t have to stare, we all know she’s hot,” Angie teases.

Camila blushes immediately, hot and red. She stammers for a second, but no real words come out.

“You always were so easy to fluster,” Angie laughs. “But seriously. You gonna keep her around?”

“Yes.”

The answer leaves Camila’s mouth so quickly she’s almost startled by it. But she knows that no matter what happens, Lauren will always be by her side.

“Good,” Angie says firmly. A slower song comes on and Angie turns to search the crowd. “I’m going to dance with my husband. Why don’t you go dance with your girlfriend?”

It’s – well it’s a good idea, because couples dance together during weddings. That’s what couples do.

Sofi’s just tugged Lauren off the dance floor when Camila gets to them.

“Sorry, I know you just finished,” Camila begins, feeling strangely nervous, “but would you like to dance with me?”

Lauren blinks at her for a moment. “Are you sure? You want to dance with _me?”_

Camila rolls her eyes. “Yes, loser, I want to dance with _you.”_

Lauren narrows her eyes. “I don’t know if I want to dance with someone so rude.”

“Then I’ll make it up to you,” Camila says with a smile.

Lauren holds out for a few seconds, but then she’s smiling as well. “Alright, Cabello. You’d better not step on my toes.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Camila says as a few older couples file onto the dance floor.

Camila easily slides her left hand into Lauren’s and from there she’s pretty lost.

Lauren steps in (literally) and tugs Camila closer until their body fit together snugly. Lauren spreads a hand on the base of Camila’s spine, comfortable and familiar, pressed into the little dimples there. Camila wraps an arm around Lauren’s shoulders so that their heads rest up against each other’s.

Some old song is playing – maybe Louis Armstrong, if Camila’s hearing it right – and Lauren leads them into a little sway, the two of them stepping into a slow figure eight. It’s lazy and calm and kind of perfect.

Lauren starts humming along, then singing the words softly, gently, like they’re only for Camila’s ears.

_“Hold me close and hold me fast, this magic spell you cast.”_

Camila presses her smile against Lauren’s neck. “Very romantic,” she mumbles.

Lauren’s laughter rumbles low in her chest; Camila feels it more than she hears it.

“Think they’re getting a kick out of it?” Lauren asks, and Camila doesn’t have to ask who she’s talking about. When they spin slowly, Camila can see her parents pressed into each other, watching with smiles and glistening eyes.

Camila hums and says, “You should keep going. Singing I mean.”

Lauren smiles – Camila doesn’t see it, but she knows – and picks up the song.

_“And when you speak angels sing from above, every day words seems to turn into love songs.”_

Camila sighs gently, pressing a kiss to Lauren’s shoulder. “That’s nice,” she says, letting her hand squeeze Lauren’s a little tighter.

Lauren falls back into humming, the two of them moving like they’ve got all the time in the world.

The song draws to a close and Lauren sings one last bit.

_“Give your heart and soul to me, and life will always be la vie en rose.”_

Camila presses a kiss to Lauren’s cheek as the song ends.

Another song starts up, more upbeat, but Camila doesn’t recognize it. “Another dance?” she prompts Lauren.

“Sure,” Lauren smiles, the two of them moving a little faster and Camila miraculously managing not to step on Lauren’s feet.

Their foreheads nearly knock together as they face each other.

“They keep looking at us,” Lauren says, sounding almost shy.

“Yeah,” Camila says, but she doesn’t look around. She doesn’t take her eyes off of Lauren for even a second. “Should I kiss you?”

“What?” That certainly got Lauren’s attention.

“Isn’t that what couples do?” Camila tilts her head. “They kiss on the dance floor.”

“Yeah,” Lauren says, almost shakily. “Yeah, they do.”

“Is that alright?” Camila prods.

“Yeah,” Lauren says again. “It’s – well, that’s what’s appropriate I guess. As girlfriends.”

“ _Pretend_ girlfriends,” Camila says, because, well – fuck.

It just doesn’t feel like… she just needs to say it. As a reminder.

“Right, right,” Lauren says, her eyes falling.

Camila’s heart’s pounding; it’s so loud she’s sure Lauren can hear it.

“I could kiss you,” Camila says. “They expect it after all.”

“They do,” Lauren agrees, her face tilting back up to Camila’s. “They do expect it.”

“They do,” Camila repeats, her voice nearly a whisper.

“I do,” Lauren murmurs, then startles a little. “I just, y’know, want them to know you’re happy.”

“Happy?” Camila says, her voice lilting.

“Happy,” Lauren says again. “That you’re in love and they don’t have to worry about you.”

“That’s nice,” Camila mumbles, the tip of her nose brushing Lauren’s. “You’re a very nice person, Lo.”

And then before Lauren can say anything, Camila leans in and presses their lips together.

It’s different – different than the other kisses they’ve shared over the past few days. They’ve exchanged pecks a couple of times, and the one kiss the morning they first arrived, but this kiss –

It makes Camila’s whole body tingle with electricity. Lauren tilts her head to kiss Camila a little deeper and Camila practically melts. When they pull apart, the last chords of the song are fading and they’re both breathing a little heavy.

Neither of them say anything, they just stand near the edge of the dance floor, taking each other in.

“Camila,” Lauren says finally. They’re still wrapped up in each other’s arms, their faces too close to be anything but intimate. “I don’t think – I mean, maybe this. Isn’t right.”

Camila’s head is still foggy and she can’t really make sense of Lauren’s words, but it’s all for show. All of this, everything they’re doing, none of it’s real.

“It’s almost over,” Camila says breathlessly.

“But, Camila…” Lauren trails off, her words dying on her tongue. She looks almost speechless, Camila notes faintly, which is a rare state for Lauren to be in.

“Almost,” Camila says again, the words feeling like some twisted prayer.

Lauren nods slowly, giving Camila a tiny smile that doesn’t look real.

 

Sinu is clutching Lauren like she’ll never see her again.

Camila rolls her eyes next to her dad.

“You two should come back,” Sinu insists. “Come back for Christmas in a month or two. It’s important to spend the holidays with family.”

“Mom, don’t harass her,” Camila complains, but she sounds more fond than anything else. She hasn’t spent Christmas with her family in a few years – she’s just so far away now.

“I’ve just missed so much time with her,” Sinu says. “And now I have to make up for it, since she’s practically –”

“Let the girls breathe, Sinu,” Alejandro says, sounding amused. He gives Camila a conspiratorial wink and she grins back.

“Kaki,” Sofi tugs at Camila’s hand until she kneels down. Despite Alejandro’s insistence, Sinu’s still harassing Lauren. “Kaki.”

“What, Sof?”

“Can you bring her back some more?” Sofi asks. “She’s really pretty and nice and funny and she laughs at all of my jokes and she told me I was her favorite Cabello.”

Camila glances up to Lauren, who smirks as she listens in on the conversation, all while Sinu continues to talk.

“I’ll do my best,” Camila says, and Sofi cheers.

After everyone’s been hugged (twice), Camila and Lauren are driving their rental car back to the airport.

They mostly just listen to the radio quietly. It’s not until they’re almost there that Lauren even speaks.

“I think we did well. Had everyone fooled,” she says, her voice faint.

“Yeah,” Camila agrees. “We sure did.”

She wonders if Lauren feels like this, too – so disappointed.

But Camila tries to shake it off. When they’re back in Cali with the other girls, everything will go back to normal.

 

It doesn’t.

To be fair, it’s entirely Camila’s fault.

The morning after they got back from Miami (and they slept in separate beds, something that Camila hadn’t realized that she didn’t like until she spent four days with Lauren), Camila is the one who knocks everything off balance.

She woke up early to make her class, because while she could have skipped it, she also missed her Friday classes. She shuffles into the kitchen, where Normani and Lauren were drinking coffee and talking. Camila barely registers that they stop speaking once Camila walks in.

Lauren hands her a cup of coffee, with all the cream and sugar Camila likes, and Camila leans up and kisses Lauren with her eyes half closed. She takes one sip of the coffee before she realizes what just happened.

Her eyes open wide immediately. Normani’s mouth has fallen open, and Lauren’s cheeks are pink and her eyebrows are higher than Camila knew they could go.

“Um,” Camila says. “Sorry.”

Then she flees the room.

 

Dinah laughs for probably a solid five minutes when Camila tells her.

“It’s not funny!” Camila cries, her eyes wide.

“It’s pretty funny,” Dinah disagrees, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. “Oh god, I needed that.”

“Dinah,” Camila whines.

“Look,” Dinah says, “it’s not that big of a deal. You just pretended to be her girlfriend for, like, four days. You were half-asleep and not thinking clearly. I don’t think Lauren’s going to hold that against you.”

Dinah’s words roll around in Camila’s head for a few beats. “You’re right,” she decides.

Dinah scoffs. “Duh.”

 

It’s not until they’re back in their normal environment that Camila realizes how much has shifted.

Or rather, how little everything has shifted, Camila was just oblivious to it before.

Camila does her best to fall back into the role of Best Friend, but it’s kind of difficult. It’s difficult now that Camila needs an excuse to want to sleep in the same bed as Lauren. It’s difficult now that Camila knows how it feels to kiss Lauren and she can’t do that.

So, two weeks after they return, Camila implements a brilliant plan.

She’s going to avoid Lauren and wait for these weird feelings to subside. That’ll do the trick.

Except deliberately snubbing Lauren’s attempts to touch her, talk to her, be near her, that all kind of fucking sucks. Because Camila likes to cuddle with Lauren, she likes to talk to her, and she just likes being around her.

Lauren kind of backs off after a week of this harsh treatment, though, and Camila doesn’t know how to feel about it. It makes it easier for her to try and get rid of these feelings, but… she misses Lauren.

“I don’t know what I did,” Lauren says from the other side of the kitchen. Camila’s not eavesdropping, she’s _not_. She’s just… lingering by the wall and admiring the paintjob. “What did I do to make her treat me like this?”

 _Nothing,_ Camila wants to say. It’s all her fault, her and these dumb feelings.

“I don’t know, Laur,” Normani says. “But whatever’s going on, it’ll be alright. You’re Camila and Lauren – you always make it out intact.”

Normani’s right – nothing’s ever separated them before, and Camila would be damned if she let this be the thing that finally does.

 

Camila’s plan isn’t really working. She feels pretty much the same, except she misses Lauren and daydreams about kissing her in class. It’s awful (in a great way), but Camila’s not sure what to do at this point.

Camila’s walking down the hallway to get to her room just as Lauren’s leaving hers.

They haven’t spoken to each other – _really_ spoken to each other – in a few weeks. Camila’s been downright glib and not at all like a best friend should be.

But Lauren still gives Camila a little smile and she looks so beautiful and –

Stupidly, impulsively, Camila moves in and kisses Lauren fiercely.

Lauren makes a startled noise that Camila feels against her lips, but Lauren sinks into the kiss, pressing back with equal fervor. Camila walks until Lauren’s pressed against the wall, letting her fingers slide under Lauren’s shirt to run along the soft skin underneath it.

Lauren practically gasps, pulling Camila closer until they’re flush against each other, kissing and panting and grabbing.

Camila pulls back and pecks along Lauren’s jaw until she can press a hot, open-mouthed kiss to Lauren’s pulse point.

 _“Camila_ ,” Lauren’s voice comes out as more of a whimper than anything else.

It’s jarring, for some reason, and Camila abruptly pulls back and takes in the sight before her.

Lauren’s hair looks mussed, and her eyes are practically half-lidded, her pupils blown wide. She’s panting and staring back at Camila and Camila does the first thing that comes to mind.

She runs.

 

If Camila thought she was avoiding Lauren before, this was an entirely new level.

She pretty much never leaves her room now, unless it’s for class, and she always texts Dinah to see if Lauren is around (and when she is, Camila climbs out of her window, because she’s just that pathetic).

“Why don’t you just tell me what happened?” Dinah prods, surprisingly gentle. Probably because Camila just cried on her for, like, half an hour or something.

Camila shakes her head. She can’t, there’s no way. She just can’t believe it happened, she can’t believe she _did_ that. She made Lauren flustered and moany – god, Camila _really_ can’t think about it.

Dinah hesitates for a second. “You know, Lauren’s upset, too. She won’t tell us what happened, either, but I can tell she’s torn up about it.”

That really only makes Camila feel worse because it’s all her fault. She didn’t want to make Lauren feel bad.

“You should just talk to her,” Dinah suggests.

And Camila will. As soon as she gets over her overwhelming sense of embarrassment over it.

As soon as the memory stops turning her on.

She swats that thought out of her mind. Lauren’s her friend and that’s all.

 

Camila impatiently waits for Dinah’s reply. She’s hungry, but she’s not leaving her room if there’s a chance she’ll bump into Lauren.

From China: i dont understand why u wont just talk to her

Camila sighs deeply.

To China: dinah can you please just answer my question

Dinah doesn’t reply for almost a minute (probably checking all the rooms, Camila reasons), then Camila’s phone dings.

From China: ur good, shes not here

Camila breathes a sigh of relief – she really _is_ starving – and heads downstairs. She only makes it two steps into the kitchen before she freezes.

Everyone is in the kitchen.

Including Lauren.

Lauren, who looks just as surprised to see Camila as Camila is seeing her.

“Hi,” Camila says hesitantly.

Lauren’s quiet for a second, then she gets a look on her face that Camila rarely sees, and one that’s never been directed at her before. Lauren’s eyebrows come together and she scowls and her eyes get a little wider. She’s _pissed_.

“It that all you have to say to me? ‘Hi’? Are you fucking kidding me?”

The room is silent. No one dares move.

“Lauren…” Camila begins, but then she stops, because she doesn’t really know what to say.

Lauren’s practically shaking then, and Camila’s mouth clamps shut.

It’s silent for another few seconds, then Lauren scoffs loudly.

“Whatever,” she says. “God, just… whatever.” Then she storms past Camila, headed for the front door.

Camila’s brain stalls for a good few seconds before she lurches after Lauren.

“Lauren, wait!”

 _“What do you want from me?”_ Lauren cries, wheeling around to shout at Camila.

Camila pulls up short a few feet away. “What?” she asks, bewildered.

“What do you want from me?” Lauren demands, her voice trembling. “Because I can’t figure it out.”

“Lauren…” Camila trails off because she has no idea what to say.

“I can’t keep doing this, Camila, I really can’t. It’s driving me insane – _you’re_ driving me insane.”

Camila’s speechless.

Lauren looks away for a moment, looking exhausted. She looks back at Camila, her words coming out shaky.

“I can’t keep doing this,” she says again.

“Doing what?” Camila finally croaks.

That only sets Lauren off again. “Don’t feed me that _bullshit_ , Camila, you _know_ what! You can’t pretend we’re just friends and everything is fine and dandy and then ignore me. And you really can’t try to _fuck_ me in the hallway and _then_ go _back_ to ignoring me. I’m not a goddamn _toy_ that you can play with when it’s convenient for you.”

“I _know_ that,” Camila protests, her voice weak to her own ears.

“Do you?” Lauren challenges without hesitation. “You don’t act like you know. Because I’m really starting to feel like nothing more than a game to you.”

“Lauren,” Camila says faintly. “You know you’re not a game to me.”

“That’s the thing. I’m not sure that I do,” Lauren says, looking more tired than anything else.

“What can I do?” Camila asks desperately. “What can I do to prove that you’re not just some game to me?”

“Tell me what you want from me,” Lauren says. “God, just _tell_ me, Camila. I’ll be whatever you want me to be, but I need you to _tell me_.”

Camila’s brain shuts down. She can’t even breathe, let alone try to answer Lauren’s question. _Whatever I want her to be? Does that mean she…?_

Camila jerks back to reality when Lauren yanks their door open and slams it shut in the same beat.

And then Camila’s all alone.

 

When she shuffles slowly back into the kitchen, the other three girls are huddled together with wide eyes. Camila had only wanted a sandwich. That’s why she came down here – just for a sandwich.

She doesn’t feel hungry anymore.

“You told me she wasn’t here,” Camila says to Dinah, her voice dull.

“I’m sorry,” Dinah says sincerely. “I just – I mean, we thought you two needed to talk.”

“We did,” Camila admits. Her whole body feels heavy, like she’s moving through molasses. “But it probably should’ve happened a few weeks ago.”

Ally pulls her into a hug, comforting and sweet. “It’s gonna be okay, Mila. You two will work everything out.”

Camila clings to Ally and prays that she’s right.

 

Lauren hasn’t come home. Normani tells them she’s crashing at someone’s place for the night and Camila’s gut churns with guilt. Lauren feels like she can’t even sleep in her own bed because of Camila.

Normani knocks on Camila’s doorframe.

“Hi,” Camila says, then winces because the last time she said that, it didn’t go too well.

“Hey,” Normani says. “You alright?”

Camila sits up from where she’s sprawled across her bed. “Not really. You know, I kind of thought you’d be on Lauren’s side or whatever.”

“I am,” Normani replies. “What you did was shitty. And probably damaging to your relationship.”

Camila hangs her head because she knows she deserves this.

“But… you guys are so gone for each other, it’s painful to look at.”

Camila’s head snaps back up in an instant.

“I’m on Lauren’s side. I’m on your side, too. And I know that being together is what would make the two of you the happiest. The way you two look at each other… it’s like you built the universe for each other,” Normani says, looking almost wistful.

“She’s angry with me,” Camila says. “And she has every right to be.”

Normani hums thoughtfully. “I think she’s more hurt than anything else.”

That doesn’t make Camila feel any better. But it does help a little, because while she doesn’t know how to fix an angry Lauren, she knows how to fix a hurt Lauren.

“You’ll get through this,” Normani says reassuringly. “And when you do, I’d better be at least one maid of honor for all my counseling skills right now.”

Camila actually laughs for the first time in days.

 

From Lolo: hey

Camila stares at the screen for a good thirty seconds. She hasn’t seen or heard from Lauren since their fight three days ago.

To Lolo: hi

From Lolo: do you think you could meet me on the front porch? i think we need to talk

Camila clicks her phone off and slowly makes her way down the stairs. Dinah’s on the couch and she gives Camila an odd look.

“Lauren’s on the porch,” Camila explains. “She wants to talk.”

“That’s good!” Dinah encourages. “Go on, then.”

When Camila opens the door, Lauren’s sitting on the steps of the porch. Camila slowly shuts the door and sits next to Lauren. They’re both quiet, watching a few cars drive by.

Lauren breaks the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

That certainly wasn’t what Camila was expecting.

“For what?” Camila asks.

“For – yelling at you. It was stupid, it didn’t help anything.”

“I deserved it,” Camila says. “I was awful to you.”

“Maybe,” Lauren nods. “But that doesn’t excuse it.”

They’re quiet again.

“I’m sorry,” Camila says.

“For what?” Lauren asks, a light smile on her face.

“For… everything. For how I’ve treated you the past few weeks, for the whole thing in the hallway, for the wedding. All of it.”

Lauren hums and nods. “I’m not.”

“You’re… not?” Camila repeats.

“The wedding was the cause of all this, but I wouldn’t give it up. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Really?” Camila asks, her voice faint.

“Yeah,” Lauren nods. “But for the record, taking me to the wedding was a horrible idea. I should’ve said no.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Lauren huffs a laugh that makes her sound older than twenty-one.

“Because I’m in love with you.”

Everyone’s been hinting at it, prodding, for weeks. Camila also just kind of knew, quietly, in her heart. But hearing it come right out of Lauren’s mouth is…

“Hey, what’re you crying for?” Lauren asks softly, wiping away the tears that fall from Camila’s eyes.

“All this stupid shit I’ve been doing – all I’ve been doing is hurting us. Hurting you. I just wish I could have figured this all out sooner,” Camila says shakily.

“But then you wouldn’t be my Camz,” Lauren says with a smile. It’s the first time Camila’s heard the nickname in forever and it really just makes her want to cry some more. “Besides, isn’t this what makes love stories great? The obstacles they overcome to be together in the end?”

“Are you saying we’re a great love story?”

“Of course,” Lauren says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You don’t think so?”

Camila pulls Lauren into a kiss. It’s slow and fond and it makes Camila’s toes curl with love. Love.

“I think you might be right.”

**Author's Note:**

> god can you fuckin believe these assholes. anyway this was so fun to write, you should hmu on tumblr at sadbirdsquad


End file.
